Explosion

word from the heart 

Because of my constant feeling that I am not understood by those who are around me in many occasions, or not often met with a proper response

I find myself sometimes, while reading an incredibly deep and insightful book, I feel like I want to stop reading it

I find that secretly my heart wonders, about what is the use of knowing more, or of finding more meaning in things

In understanding a thought more clearly, or of figuring out a life mystery

When I fail to communicate it

I came to an understanding, in my past years, that what gives a thought a value, besides the value inherent in the thought itself, is the ability to express this thought and the chance of receiving an appropriate response

There is something about response, about communication, about connection that is delightful to the human heart

What is the use of having more life, when the volume that contains this life is fixed, the more life that comes in , the more the pressure from inside, and eventually an explosion

I can easily visualize my being as a balloon, that is about to explode  

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But I cannot stop myself from wanting to know more, from the pleasure I find in digging beyond the obvious

Even though, this pleasure Is usually accompanied with an ache, I cannot stop myself

But maybe this explosion is inevitable; maybe I’ll explode from life that builds the pressure inside

Maybe I’ll explode and become an expression of life

Or maybe this whole paradigm, as more life comes in , will change .

Maybe that feeling and image I have, is actually because of the lack of understanding, the lack of life I’ve got

Maybe I am too far away; maybe I am too far from knowing and of understanding

Maybe I feel relatively more insightful, but maybe I am absolutely so far away

Maybe one day a more pleasant and sweeter paradigm will come my way.

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One Response to Explosion

  1. Marian Sobhy says:

    that reminds of the groan to be clothed upon … to put an end to the impeding power of mortal flesh as mentioned in 2Cor 5
    2Co 5:1 For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
    2Co 5:2 For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven:
    2Co 5:3 If so be that being clothed we shall not be found naked.
    2Co 5:4 For we that are in this tabernacle do groan, being burdened: not for that we would be unclothed, but clothed upon, that mortality might be swallowed up of life.

    Like

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